So there I was, staring at the mirror. The world outside my room was breathing. The clouds were dissipating into thin air in the Sky as the sun began to shine through the shades of my window.
My spirit was left for dead. Someone deliberately lied and deceived me and stomped on my trust. I couldn't trust my own shadow at that point, the only shelter I had was my altar and an old flute I played to comfort my broken heart in silence.
I wanted to give up my path, my dreams and everything I once believed in. All my fears and my demons were staring at me in the mirror, the warrior was drifting away into the underworld without warning, I fell in love with my pain and didn't want to let it go because it fed my anger and gave me a reason to cry.
I was in Xibalba (a place of fear). I grabbed my medicine bundle and I clinged on to it with my eyes closed as I visited all the sacred places I walked in my vision-quest. I felt how each one of the grandfathers began to show up as I called their names. I heard a voice loud and clear "You are loved, don't give up grandson..."
Xibalba had blinded me, and all my enemies had come for the kill. I could not hear my own heart and all I wanted was someone to listen and to understand me, but no one could help me unless I cleansed my own body, mind and spirit. I had to be compassionate and forgive myself, forgive my deceiver and accept the lesson. Because there is always a greater purpose from Great Spirit awaiting to bless us in the most unimaginable way.
Are you in a dark pit right now where you don't want to be reached or you are hiding from the ones that truly love you? It is my turn to pull you out from that state of depression and remind you not to give up! The world can be a cold and dark place for spiritual people, but you are not alone. My grandfather used to tell me: "This world becomes cold, and a strange place to live to remind us we can not stay here forever- we are on our way home."
One of the hardest things I had to go through is to close my
eyes in prayer and let the light guide me. People will always try to break you and separate you from your true nature. Some people are meant to stay in your life, some are just substitute teachers.